© Ella Ling

Novak Djokovic and Marian Vajda

PseudoFed: My preview of the US Open final

PseudoFed previews the men’s singles final of the US Open: 
Thank you to My great friends at The Tennis Space for asking My staff to arrange for Me to share My expert opinion on the U.S. Open final. I’m always happy to help you out. As they say – you scratch My back, and so do My staff.
First of all I will say that if had I won the quarter finals, semis and beaten My opponent in the final I would have been the winner. You’re welcome. I’m thinking of the times ahead (referred to as the future) and I am liking of the idea of becoming a tennis commentators giving views with no bias and so being totally objectional. Let’s make the analysis.
Andrew Murray – He has a top coach Mr. Lentils. I find him a little off-putting as during Andrew’s matches. He is always so animated, shouting and making the whoop whoop noises. It’s as though he is the Oprah Winfrey show shouting, “Go Ricky, Go Ricky”. Certainly if I was Andrew I’d tell him to, ‘Shut up’. Andrew must make the concentrations on his game, first serves will be important times. He must also try and make the balls long even though they are usually round. This will confuse his opponent. He has a strong team behind him. I can’t help but feel he has stepped it up with the notches. James Bond is now in his camp as well as Alex Ferguson. Two major U.K. weapons of mass destruction.
Novak Djokovic – he is certainly an interesting player. His family are very quiet, stealth-like I would say. Personally I’ve never noticed them despite rumors to the contrary. Novak’s main weapon is his variability. This is enough to throw the tactics of nearly every opponent. He can skillfully make the impersonations and suddenly you think you’re about to serve against Nadal, Roddick or Maria Sugarapova. If it was Me playing against Novak I’d use the intellectual side of the game. To begin with he cannot fool Me about being Nadal as if it was, I’d have most likely have already lost the match. Roddick has already made the retirements so it can’t be him and I know this. Maria would be more difficult but I believe if a woman was in the men’s final Gilles Simon would make lots of noises.
Who will win? Well it can only be one of them. This means the other will lose. We will only know the winner when one of them has won.


  • Sammy

    LOL Brilliant! Best preview I have read! Thank you PseudoFed, I will be watching in a whole new light HaHa

  • http://twitter.com/an10e Anthony S

    ” As they say – you scratch My back, and so do My staff.” Love this line :)

  • http://twitter.com/Lord_Kartz K

    Dear #GoAT-erer. I know you are #humble. But #prettyplease allow me to do the spilling of the beans.

    Mr. Flushings, in an apology to you for putting Bird-yuck in your draw, has already given you – in absolute secret – the USO trophy. These two flibbertigibbets are merely competing for a fake trophy. And to keep the crowds amused on a Monday to rid them of the Monday-morning-blues.


    The #humble Lord.