© Ella Ling

Federer - Paris

PseudoFed: How to be humble

   

Being humble is a urgent part of being a top person in the sport. It is very important to have this word ‘humble’ on the forehead of your brain especially during the interviews with the people that make stories on newspapers, wireless radios and television sets.

But before I give you My top tips on how to be humble, first we need to understand what humble means. Do not worry, My staff have already checked the dictionaries. There is one from Oxford with some small typographical errors which I have corrected:

Humble: adjective (humbler, humblest, GOAT)
1   (correction, should begin with “not”) having or showing a low estimate of one’s own importance.
2   of low rank (correction: should be: “of high rank”).
ORIGIN
     Middle English: from Old French, from Latin humilis ‘low, lowly’, from humus ‘ground’. More recently Swiss GOAT #humble

If a friend breaks his leg you should reply something like, “Do not worry, My leg is OK”. This is important because it makes the emphasising on the positive. Being negative can have bad things happen so I always like to twist myself and turn horrible things into nice ones.

Smile. I like to do this for the approximations of 10 minutes and 22 seconds at a time. The smiling scientists say that when you smile it makes your body feel better, more relaxed and nice as though you are in one of your homes. For example I will create a situation of the hypotheticals, if a top opponent exits a tournament in the second round at Wimbledon (2012) leaving you with the great chances, this is the time you should smile for the time mentioned before. The result? It portrays humbleness because everybody else is talking about the situation of the player leaving, and you are staying positive with the smile looking like the cat that has gotten the large piece of the Creamy Pie.

When you lose, always compliment yourself. This is true. There have been many Pseudo experts in sport in the past times saying that it is for others to praise you, not for you to praise yourself. False. Being truly humble is to lead the way for how others should describe you. This is like helping them in what to say. For the example, everybody knows clay courts (orange ones) have very wide margins and are therefore very easy to dominate on (if you choose to, I don’t). If you do not win an orange clay tournament this is the time to make humbleness and describe how you chose to lose.

Always try to be more humble. I am always looking for ways to improve. For example, one of My good friends Carlos Moya (@CharlyMoya) yesterday on the twitter asked Me: “@PseudoFed have u seen @usainbolt ‘s profile?? #humble” – This was a good tip and shows he was looking out for Me. I checked Mr. Bolt’s profile and My mind made some jealous moments. Perhaps it is time to make the re-writings?

Eat Humble Pie. Following on from the Creamy Pie, forgive Me fans, but this is more of a request than advice from the top. It has been suggested to Me on many numerical occasions that I should eat some Humble Pie. Despite Chef having a vast budget at his disposal for My pleasure, he has yet to find the recipe for this anywhere. If you know the answer, please contact Me. In the meantime I will stick to BlueBerry.

 

   
  • Billy

    That would be good, if it was funny… Problem is none of pseudofed posts are funny, not one….

    • nomates

      Which makes you very sad commenting on things you don’t like. Funny is subjective, so if you don’t like it look for something you do like. Right now over 12 thousand of his followers think he or she is funny.

      • Carodarcy

        What’s funny about this is that it can be universally applied to quite a few sportsmen and women, not to mention numerous other “celebs”.

      • Billy

        I love your sense of freedom of speech : you’re only allowed to comment of things your like… If I follow your comment, if 12 thousands like it, tons of others (since they didn’t comment, they probably disliked it) didn’t. Just because you like it, found it funny and a few others also did, doesn’t mean everyone did… And every one is free to say it, like it or not…

        • ADB

           I enjoy PseudoFed Tweets and blog, but this was one of the unfunniest of them all.  Did pseudo-Pseudo Fed write this?  I’m a Fedfan with a sense of humor, but this one felt very, very pseudo.

          • Sandra

            I thought it was frigging hilarious and I am not a fed fan particularly so maybe that is why lol 

  • Danni

    OMG This is hilarious!!! Thank you again Tennis Space!! ”

    It is very important to have this word ‘humble’ on the forehead of your brain”  

  • Rubhahuna

    I particulary like the example of the broken leg, Your Humbleness. The person who is in agony and wondering if he will be able to work or play again will feel so much better for knowing your leg isn’t broken.

    And I certainly wouldn’t give a thought to eating humble pie; blueberry is much better :)

  • Psuudo Psycho Fake sucks

    I agree with Billy and others. Not one of Pseudo Psycho’s posts are funny. Not one. They are all indulgent, infantile, spiteful and petty. They obviously reflect the grudging mentality of the writer. Clearly the writer is frustrated – in every sense of the word. Rather than knock the achievements of Federer, I suggest stronger medication.  

    • Holly

      Well if Fed didn’t give this writer the ammunition (since more than 90% of what they write is based on stuff the arrogant one has actually done/said) then there would be nothing to be ‘petty’ or whatever other words you care to use to describe it. If you can’t see that the stuff he comes out with half the time is so ridiculous then I suggest you need stronger medication.

  • haili

    Some people are just too slow-witted to understand parody humor.

  • Adam

    None of these blogs are infantile, spiteful or petty. Anyone who sees Feds interviews knows that half the time he doesn’t give his opponent much credit for the victory and in victory himself likes to big up his achievements as much as he can. Not saying this is a fault, i’m a huge fan of his and it’s probably just the way he comes across in the public eye. I agree with the bottom post that some people probably just don’t get parody humour but I personally think that this does a great job; having a little fun of and making light of someone’s demeanour doesn’t mean your jealous of what that person’s achieved. Keep up the good work I say, never fails to make me laugh!