© Ella Ling

Miami 2012 - Federer forehand

PseudoFed column: Why sing about Murray's mother?


The relationships I have developed with the good people at The Tennis Space have now elevated them from BFF to GFF (GOAT Friends Forever). So when a member of staff told Me we had received a request from them for another article I was very happy for them.

We are now in the Olympics. For those unfamiliar, it’s like St. David’s Cup but with more activities. It’s so much fun. I have been looking at all the different events to see what else I may choose to enter representing Myself. I am making the contemplations about the boxing. This will help Me keep Stanford in order when we lose at doubles and I can blame him (again). Yes.

I know I often make the conspiracies about Andrew Murray in that everybody around him also seems to be called Murray. I believe this goes much further, much deeper and involves all people in the establishments of the Britain. Some may say the GOAT has adenoids always looking over His shoulder thinking people are out to make the traps. But, is it a coincidence that Andy lost Wimbledon and now is allowed to have another go already? Normally you have to wait one year (I checked). If this wasn’t enough just before the Olympic ceremony John McEnroe said he wanted Andy to win the Gold Medallion. Why?! Lastly, to make the toppings off, at the end of the ceremony Paul McCarthy sang a song dedicated to Mr. Murray’s mother, “Hey Jude”. What is wrong with this you may ask? It contains a secret advice for Judy to give to Andy. Yes. The fifth verse contains, “The movement you need is on your shoulder.”. If you’re not allowed to give the coaching during a match how is this allowed?

However, let’s finish with the positive. Mr. Wimbledon is always on My side and ensured that the Olympic tennis draw was consistent. I don’t think anybody noticed luckily! I made the phew sound. I want to make the clearings that I am doing this for My country and not for Myself, this is why I am heavily involved in all the team spirits. I have chosen Stanford to play in the doubles with Me and if we win I have made him promise to tickle My abdomen this time as last time I tickled his. To be consistent, just like St. David’s Cup, if we don’t win Gold, it will be his fault. The BBC lady commentator during the opening ceremony noticed I wasn’t carrying the flag and said she wondered where I was in the crowd. As if I’d give up carrying the flag and mix with the Little Guys?

As a gift to Team GB I gave them My Wimbledon outfit from 2009. You’re welcome.

  • Dean111

    LOL. Hey Jude! She’s a snake, so much venom  😉  

  • http://twitter.com/patzin Patrice Zinkova

    As ever, so eff’g funny – The Boat, oopps, Goat!  Can’t wait for the next bloggings.

  • adb

    Love Fed, and love His bloggings.  And His Tweets.  Would love to know where the real tweeter/blogger is from.  Clever, clever, clever.

  • Growupdiot

    Puerile drivel. Federer doesn’t deserve this humourless, nasty dribbling from a sad, sick mind. Grow up and get a life rather than attacking those with achievements.

    • Danni

      Are you kidding? Where is your sense of humour?! PseudoFed is the best Twitter account out here. Don’t ever stop whoever you as you make a lot of people happy :)

    • TheFrenchman

      So many of PseudoFed’s fans are Federer fans and so many say (including me) they wish Fed laughed at himself more. As for achievements, PF has over 11k followers, how many do you have? 😉 If you don’t like something, why waste your life commenting? That’s like watching a tv show you don’t like, change the channel rather than moaning… as you say, get a life. Be happy and enjoy.

    • Petra

      I like the real Fed a lot and I most sincerely hope he laughs at PseudoFed as much as I do. As they say in German: Was sich liebt, das neckt sich. Which means those teasing each other, love each other.

  • Danni

    Another classic piece from PseudFed. Just ♥ love it. Thank you Tennis Space!