© Ella Ling

Federer 2

PseudoFed column: I'm in yet another final


World exclusive: @pseudofed writes for The Tennis Space:

My good friends at The Tennis Space begged Me to spend a moment to jot down some of My feelings in being in yet another final of the finals! I agreed after some negotiatings and they were so happy.

It’s a feeling that is special. As you saw in some of My press interviews, it was quite pleasant having the family called “Royals” coming to support Me this week as well as other tennis legends. Rodney Laver was probably the most pleased. Today in My match against Novaks, “Kylie” was there too. For those fans that aren’t aware. Kylie and Rodney are from the Australia and they used to be in a hit TV soapy operas called ‘Neighbours’. This was the same time Jason Donovan was in it. Kylie was a young lady and Rod Laver played Jason’s Dad, ‘Jim Robinson’.

I make the digressions. Back to Me. Well it is very exciting for the final because I am playing Andrew Murray. He was grown here in the UK so knows the area well. Nonetheless I feel confident, obviously. I’ve been playing like the Champion and Legend that you all love Me for despite one of most difficult draws in HIS7TORY. My top-spin backhand cross-court return back-spin passing shots worked amazing in my semi. Sometimes during a match I have to ask Myself, was I really that good? Then I answer, Yes.

But it isn’t all about ups and higher ups. This week also had My name mentioned on ESPN when My good friend Chris Fowler was trying to explain tweetings to John McEnroe. John suggested I should be arrested for impersonating Myself which gave me some confusions. But really though, is this not the saucepan calling the kettle black? I mean apparently John has a brother called Patrick but has anyone ever seen them in the same room in the same moments at the same time in the same place, together?

I have been reviewing the match up between Murray and Tsonga. It seems Andrew has changed the gears and made tennis into a game with the violence! I may need to invest in some special protection in case I also get hit in My GOATlings.

A couple of days rest now until Monday’s final and I am really excited to see you all there supporting Me. It’s getting late now and staff have quietly motioned that My bed is ready and as Bob Seger used to say, “It’s know it’s late, I know I’m weary, I know My plans, do include Me.”

  • Minialison

    I think Andy’s been practising that shot. It’s known in the Murray circles as the ‘lazy lob’. Watch out Your Highness or you may also receive one in the crown jewels!
    I think Judy’s behind these dirty tactics myself!

  • Heather

    Check your grammar and spelling. You write as your favorites do. Even better get RHUFFAH/Nhole to proof read for you.

    Ahhh weeks without them.  Such a pleasure!

    • Luka


  • Aristoteles

    How pathetic..

  • Cheesecake


  • Luka

    lol did mcenroe really say you should be arrested?