100 Tennis Things To Do Before You Die – part three of four.
Learn to identify players by their grunts alone.
Listen to a Yannick Noah album.
Spend a few minutes sitting inside Court Suzanne Lenglen just enjoying the architecture.
Watch one of Roger Federer’s practice sessions, then one of Rafael Nadal’s, and compare and contrast.
Eat at every stand in the food court at Flushing Meadows (this may take several visits). Start with some curly fries, or a lobster roll. Celebrate with an extra-large cola.
Vote for a former tennis player in a Russian election or in a reality television show.
Blag your way into the players’ party at a tournament.
Guess Nick Bollettieri’s age.
Work out how Radek Stepanek does it.
Fly to LA, rent a convertible and drive through the desert for a long weekend at the Indian Wells Tennis Garden.
Have a question answered by Dmitry Tursunov, The Tennis Space’s agony uncle (send your problem to email@example.com with the email marked ‘Dear Uncle Dmitry’).
Set a 3am alarm, or stay up through the night, to watch tennis out of your time zone.
Play on every surface.
Meet John McEnroe.
Teach your child, a sibling, a nephew or a niece, how to hold a racket.
Spend a day talking about tennis in the style of Brad Gilbert (use as many nicknames and phrases as you can).
Form an opinion on Jim Courier.
Buy a T-shirt at Roland Garros (because, with the exception of this year’s design, they have the classiest merchandise of all the slams).
Visit the museums at the grand slams.
Recognise that you used to be too harsh on Anna Kournikova/Tim Henman/Andre Agassi/Pete Sampras/Jennifer Capriati.
Have the yips on your serve.
Spend more than you can afford on a ticket for a grand slam final.
Drink too much during a rain delay.
Enjoy the spectacle of the mopping at the US Open.
Learn how to analyse a stats sheet.